Happily Ever After.

So, you know how sometimes we all occasionally facebook stalk an ex or an old friend or just someone we randomly think about now and again, well I did that this morning, I sort of wish I didn't.
It's not because it's made me jealous or because I still 'like' them, it's just because it surprised me and I'm never a huge fan of surprises.

Two and a bit years ago I went on a date with a guy, let's call himmmm 'S', we had spoke a lot before meeting up and we clicked rather well online (most of my dating has happened/started online), anyway, he bought us tickets to a comedy night and we went to that and it was a good night, he then drove me home as I didn't want to get the train home and he came in for coffee (not before I had to sneak my mother out the back door, last thing I needed was him meeting my mother on the first date! Nobody needs that!) Anyway, we chatted for a while and I gave him a tour of the house and then just before he left we had a cheeky kiss. I'd never overly been sexually attracted to someone as much as I was him that night, we didn't do anything other than that doorstep smooch, he came in for a little while longer but I blurted out to him that I had no intention of sleeping with him on the first date (no matter how much my body just wanted to jump his bones, no I did not tell him that!) we chatted some more and then he left again.

That was sort of the last time I saw him, he then text me a bit and we emailed a bit but then he sent me a long email (which I still have and occasionally read if I need an ego boost) and explained that he thought I was a wonderful woman but he was in a funk and shouldn't really be dating till he was out of it, at the time I was quite hurt, I'd never been in love before and I wasn't with him but I thought that maybe one day I could have been, I'll admit I sort of did cry and I told him I didn't really want to talk to him again.

After a few months I did end up texting him on a whim, just to see how he was, he replied but we didn't talk for long as he said he had found someone and I had just started speaking to Robert at that point so I didn't really want to see S anyway as I was far too busy realizing I was in love with Robert.
But I have to admit I haven't ever stopped occasionally thinking of S, I have no feelings for him, but he made quite a big impact on my dating life and I have no idea why. I sort of wish we had stayed as friends, he was a really nice guy, I have a few ex friends who I wish I had stayed friends with but things happen and people move on.

Anyway, I looked at S's profile today and he got married in August (a few days after Eppy's first birthday I will add ;)) and he now has a baby, I'm super happy for him, I'm glad he finally found someone more suited to him, looking back I don't think I really was, he was admittedly a bit too sophisticated for me! I just, I don't know, I suppose I'm jealous over the fact he got married before me? Not that he's married to someone else, but maybe because I'm not married yet, I know I'm still young but Robert and I are settled, we have a wonderful family so why shouldn't we get married? I guess it will come in time.

Marriage is a crazy thing, 'here's a bit of paper, you now legally belong to each other, don't fuck up' is pretty much all it is. Yet most people including myself crave for that beautiful ring and big day.

I don't really know the purpose for this blog, maybe I'm hoping S will see it one day and know I'm happy for him and I hope they have a beautiful life together. I'm sure they will, their son is beautiful too. I know one day Robert and I will have a beautiful wedding too, just got to try not to think about how many years that will be!

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